Potion Perfections

"Well, I'm sorry to say you would fail. I had that problem with a nosey teacher, so I taught myself, forcibly, Occlumency. Painfull, but it worked," Toru winced.

She folded her arms and sighed. "They refuse to teach me that too. Apparently I'm dangerous."

"Humph. More like the teachers are arrogent, and afraid. I can teach you Occlumency, and I could easily get a pass to the Restricted Section for Legilimency."

She grinned. "Mon cherie, Ja taime!" She said in French. She spoke it often and flawlessly. In fact, she was better at French than English.

(("my dear/sweetheart, I love you"))

He smiled. He couldn't speak it, but he understood it halfways well. "I'm just surprised you haven't pushed me to talk yet." He almost slapped himself after that. Why did he have to keep bringing it up?

Her smacked herself in the forehead. "Stupid me." She walked over and sat on his lap facing him with her legs on either side of his. "S'il vous plaît me dire?"

(("please tell me?"))

Toru twirled his wand between his fingers. "My parents were muggles, and I almost killed them before I came back for my seventh year. I ended up locking them in a woodshed."

She frooze. The word 'mudblood' went through her head as well as generations of disgust. She let no expression show on her face as she fought the voices back. She was not her parents. "Je suis désolé," she murmered, getting off.

(("I'm sorry"))

He held his wand firmly, pointing it at her. He held it for a second, two, three...then he spun it around, pointing it at himself. "Now do you understand why I hate myself? If you want to kill me, do it. I want you to." He put his wand in her hand. "I NEED you to."

She twirled the wand around and then pointed her own under his chin, staring him in the eyes. "Avada Kadav-" she stopped the spell short. "I could do it easily. So easily. But I'm not my father. And I'm not my mother. And I do not kill." Her eyes blazed into his.

He grabbed her wand, shoving it harder underneath his chin. "You think I don't want you too? Not a day goes by when I curse myself, curse my parents. I live with it, but I would much rather die because of it. I don't belong in this world."

She pulled her wand away forcefully. "Then get someone else to do it," she hissed angrily. "Don't make assumptions about me. Just because of my parents everyone expects me to be a dark witch. Well I'm not. And the sooner you learn that the better."

"I'm glad you say that. Even if your parents were Slytherin incarnate, I don't agree with mass genocide," he said, slumping in his chair. "I disgust myself."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Don't say that. People still like you, don't they? People I've never even met try to kill me on a weekly basis."

"You and the teachers are the only ones who know who I am. Everyone else thinks I'm a half blood or pureblood. Fools," he humphed.

"So why tell me of all people?" she asked curiously.

He shifted slightly. "You asked. No one else asked."

She blinked at him. Made sense. "All right. And...I'm sorry." She looked away. It wasn't like her to apologize. Or even care.

"Don't be. You can't help it. I can't help it. I'm just going to have to live with it," he said. He tried to smile at her.

"Yeah..." Her eyes got a far away look in them. "I hate who I am too," she said so quietly, she was almost sure he wouldn't hear her.

He did though. "Why would a pureblood hate oneself?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Daddy wasn't a pureblood. He was only half," She said, hoping to distract him. "So I would only be three fourths pure."

"That isn't an answer."

"I was simply stating that I'm not sure how a pureblood could hate themselves as I am not one," she said, evading the question again.

"Then let me rephrase the question: Why would anyone but a mudblood hate themselves?"